That buzz... it's baacckkkkk!!!!

Yes, I'm back. I was debating today whether to try and revive this blog, or turn around and properly abandon it altogether, but I really do want to give it another PROPER go.

The last few weeks at least, probably more like a couple of months really if I think back, I've been really struggling to find that creative spark. That old saying: be careful what you wish for... well, it's definitely hit home yet again with me, as I used to wish that non-stop spark of inspiration I'd get, (you know the one... the one that would keep me awake for hours at night, leaving me frustrated because I'd have so many wonderful ideas and a) not enough time to make them all, and b) no idea just which one exactly to start off with, because they all pulled at me equally as loudly), that it would just shut up and give me some peace every now and then. Well... it did. It finally went silent! There would maybe be the odd time when I'd get a hint of the spark after seeing some wonderful creation by someone else, but then I'd think.. no, that's THEIR creation, I don't want to make something even similar to someone else's work. I want to make something unique, find my own style! So, I would resist that little teeny hint of creative spark, and vainly kept hoping I would get a true taste of it again. But it's stayed hidden for so long and recently I've been getting more and more depressed, as I've actually started really missing that creative babble in my head that refused to shut up. I've missed that flow of ideas, that excitement I'd feel every time I'd think of some other awesome thing I wanted to try... even trying to start a new project lacked that thrill that was responsible for my now HUGE pile of WIPs! I've missed that sense of peace I'd get from knitting, crocheting, sewing, or needlefelting... because even the few times I've tried in these last few weeks, it's just not been there. I've felt.. numb. Empty. Even the camera has sat at home, untouched, as my usual love of wildlife photography has been dealt that same blow to the creative mojo.

But how the heck to get it back???

I tried browsing other people's work again;  talking to other crafty type folk; taking a break from everything crafty and just spending time with my rats, reading a little, browsing facebook, chatting on twitter, and other mundane things to try and clear my head. Nothing was working. The depression's been getting worse, and I've been watching my dream of EVER being able to make any kind of living off of my creations disappear for good.  To get good enough to start selling, I actually need to practice... and to practice, well, I need my mojo back!

Then.. for some reason, tonight I went for another online browse, found a few new artists/bear makers whose work I instantly fell in love with, and something just clicked! I began to feel just the first beginnings of that excited, inspired buzz again! And now, slowly, the ideas are starting to trickle in. Tomorrow I'm supposed to be getting some much needed housework done, but I'm thinking it may just have to wait one more day, so that I can give in and feed this buzz. I'm taking a couple of days out this week too to go and play with the camera again. The photography itch is building as well, and the couple of other times that it tried to do that, I didn't get to it in time and it faded again. So definitely heading out this week, especially now I have a brand new bike, so don't need to worry about trying to find money to pay for the bus, or rely on someone else for transport. I have the freedom to head out with the camera, & find both a little peace of mind I seriously need right now, and feed that inspiration buzz. This week is suddenly really looking up!

Love you Monday!